Driving earlier today, I saw a couple walking along in which the young man had a long ponytail. It reminded me of a young preacher I knew many years ago, who also had a ponytail.
I assisted the church in some trouble it had with a prior pastor and in its search for a new pastor, but was not involved in the actual hiring process. The church was not a great church, being more of a community church with no strong theological convictions, but felt it could find a good pastor anyway. They ended up hiring this young man.
When I first spoke to him by telephone, I was surprised to hear him mention having a ponytail (as if it mattered to me) and how "surprising" it was to the people where he had started working. When I visited him at his church, he talked again about his ponytail and how "cool" it was that they hired him anyway and how "shocked" people were to see his ponytail. He was really quite proud of that ponytail and how he perceived others responding to it. He even asked if I was "surprised" to see a minister with a ponytail. I was rather amazed that he thought it was such a big deal at all. I knew lots of men with ponytails. It was the Seattle area, after all.
Over the years, I have thought about him a great deal. A ponytail is an interesting thing, isn't it? It does not matter at all. Seriously, what difference does it make? It does not make you stronger or wiser or a better Christian. A ponytail (like any hairdo) is important only in so much as it impacts others. My looks don't matter to me, they matter to those who look at me.
But that was not his attitude at all. His attitude was that having a ponytail was important to who he was. It would have to be because no man in our culture would grow one without thinking about it. He wanted to be a man with a ponytail, regardless of how it impacted his ability to work for God. He knew the ponytail would bother others, but felt that it was a good idea to force them to deal with his ponytail. He knew it would be a problem, and he kept it so that it could be a problem because of how important it was to him.
I knew, or I felt strongly, that he would never succeed. No man who values his hair more than the members of his church will succeed as a pastor. No man who believes that shocking people is a valuable ministry choice will succeed in a job that requires love. A true minister would have been concerned about more than his ponytail.
We see this in other areas. A pastor will insist on the music he likes, not what his people respond to, and say they "need to change." A pastor will insist on preaching the way he likes ("It's my style") rather than the way his people need to hear the word. Young pastors will want to dress casually in an area where preachers dress nicely, even though the people like to have preachers dress nicely. How many pastors have told me, in effect, "they have to adjust to me"? They have to like my ponytail.
I was right about the young minister with the ponytail. He lasted almost two years but was fired because of what seemed to be a simple matter, but no one there had ever come to really love him. Why? Because he did not love them. He loved his ponytail.
Preachers need to know that their duty is to love their neighbors, to love their people, to love their God. It is not their duty to have ponytails (or not have them). It is not their job to love themselves in such a way. If I ministered in a place where men had to be bald to be heard, I would shave my head in a moment. If I minister to people who need my hair to be longer than it is, I would grow it longer. What is hair compared to the faith of God's people?
Preachers and ponytails. An odd and a sad connection in the life of a small church and a young minister. I hope they both learned a lot through the process.
I assisted the church in some trouble it had with a prior pastor and in its search for a new pastor, but was not involved in the actual hiring process. The church was not a great church, being more of a community church with no strong theological convictions, but felt it could find a good pastor anyway. They ended up hiring this young man.
When I first spoke to him by telephone, I was surprised to hear him mention having a ponytail (as if it mattered to me) and how "surprising" it was to the people where he had started working. When I visited him at his church, he talked again about his ponytail and how "cool" it was that they hired him anyway and how "shocked" people were to see his ponytail. He was really quite proud of that ponytail and how he perceived others responding to it. He even asked if I was "surprised" to see a minister with a ponytail. I was rather amazed that he thought it was such a big deal at all. I knew lots of men with ponytails. It was the Seattle area, after all.
Over the years, I have thought about him a great deal. A ponytail is an interesting thing, isn't it? It does not matter at all. Seriously, what difference does it make? It does not make you stronger or wiser or a better Christian. A ponytail (like any hairdo) is important only in so much as it impacts others. My looks don't matter to me, they matter to those who look at me.
But that was not his attitude at all. His attitude was that having a ponytail was important to who he was. It would have to be because no man in our culture would grow one without thinking about it. He wanted to be a man with a ponytail, regardless of how it impacted his ability to work for God. He knew the ponytail would bother others, but felt that it was a good idea to force them to deal with his ponytail. He knew it would be a problem, and he kept it so that it could be a problem because of how important it was to him.
I knew, or I felt strongly, that he would never succeed. No man who values his hair more than the members of his church will succeed as a pastor. No man who believes that shocking people is a valuable ministry choice will succeed in a job that requires love. A true minister would have been concerned about more than his ponytail.
We see this in other areas. A pastor will insist on the music he likes, not what his people respond to, and say they "need to change." A pastor will insist on preaching the way he likes ("It's my style") rather than the way his people need to hear the word. Young pastors will want to dress casually in an area where preachers dress nicely, even though the people like to have preachers dress nicely. How many pastors have told me, in effect, "they have to adjust to me"? They have to like my ponytail.
I was right about the young minister with the ponytail. He lasted almost two years but was fired because of what seemed to be a simple matter, but no one there had ever come to really love him. Why? Because he did not love them. He loved his ponytail.
Preachers need to know that their duty is to love their neighbors, to love their people, to love their God. It is not their duty to have ponytails (or not have them). It is not their job to love themselves in such a way. If I ministered in a place where men had to be bald to be heard, I would shave my head in a moment. If I minister to people who need my hair to be longer than it is, I would grow it longer. What is hair compared to the faith of God's people?
Preachers and ponytails. An odd and a sad connection in the life of a small church and a young minister. I hope they both learned a lot through the process.