Preachers are pretty consistent about Sundays. They think and preach about how much everyone ought to look forward to coming to church on Sunday. "Joining with other believers," they will say, "ought to be the greatest pleasure of a true Christian." They will repeatedly tell us how much we ought to enjoy "hearing God's word" (meaning listening to them preach) and how much we ought to "join in worship" (meaning to sing the songs they chose to have us sing). Some churches go so far as to call their meetings "celebrations," as if it were always our birthday. "Celebrate Jesus with us," they will say.
But, when you talk to Christians, this is not the common experience at all. Sunday is not, for many Christians, a thrill at all. Going to church is a duty. Listening to sermons is a duty. Being with other Christians is not thrilling, because they are not thrilling people. Sitting in Sunday School classes is not exciting or even interesting. Sermons are too long and seem empty of meaning. The songs are so-so. The services are not engaging.
When you talk to preachers, you hear two responses. First, of course, is that anyone who feels this way is really wicked. It is a sin not to like their sermons or not to enjoy being with their people. Second, they will agree that this is true "in other churches," but they are sure that their church is different.
The reality is that, well, preachers don't like reality. We (preachers) don't like having to look at the world the way it really is. We enjoy Sunday (we get to preach) and we work all week getting ready for Sunday, so we have a great time. We enjoy "being with Christians" because everyone smiles at us and we don't have to go to Sunday School. So, we think everyone else should be like us. This is a foolishness.
The truth is quite simple. Preachers are right when they say that Sunday "ought to be" a great day for Christians, that going to church "ought to be" a wonderful experience, that people "ought to be" excited about getting together with others and listening to God's word.
But "ought to be" has two very different meanings. When preachers say it, they mean that the people "ought to be" different. They mean "ought to be" as is "it is your duty to enjoy this." They mean it the way a mom means it when she says "you ought to like creamed broccoli." She thinks there is something wrong with you. Preachers say these things as if something is wrong with the people. Maybe the problem is the creamed broccoli.
In reality, something is wrong with most of our churches. People "ought to enjoy" going to church, but they don't. And if they don't, something is probably wrong with our church. People will skip sermons and we conclude they are sinners, but the reality is that they are probably bored with the sermons. If they weren't bored, they would come. They "ought to" enjoy the singing, but when they don't, it is more likely we who lead who are at fault.
People are not obligated to like our sermons, our songs, or our ideas. They have no duty to enjoy what is boring. We (elders) are responsible for what happens, and telling people they "ought to" enjoy what we do is just nonsense.
We "ought to" listen to them. We "ought to" become better preachers. We "ought to" make services more engaging.
There is something really strange about listening to preachers complain. If people don't like their sermons, they say that the people are wrong. If people don't enjoy the music, they say people are wrong. If people skip something, they say it is just sin.
Maybe preachers ought to listen more and think more, rather than just accepting the level of service they are presently giving.
Get better, preachers. Get better. The only "ought to" you get to say is to yourself. Make coming to church something worthwhile, and you will be amazed what you will see.