With my son coming home from the Army (it has been a nice visit), I am surprised at how many people think this is the right time for me to sit down and "have a talk" with him. I am not at all sure where this idea originates, but it is amazing how many people have brought this up.
Apparently, the theory is that I (as the Father) have some great knowledge that he (as the Son) needs to hear and that, for whatever reason, I have never given it to him before. Now That He Is A Man (as they will say it), I am apparently supposed to impart this knowledge to him over lunch or dinner or something, in a very important Talk.
I think, maybe, it arises from television and movies, where we always see fathers and sons sitting down for a serious talk. It may just come from the increasing feminization of things, given how much women seem to like having such talks. I know that wives are frequently the ones who want their husbands to have such talks. Who knows where it comes from, but I wish it would go away. Seriously.
My son lived in my house for 23 years. Do you think there is something I wanted to tell him but just kept forgetting all those years? Is there some wisdom or understanding I just never got around to mentioning but which he needs now? I don't think so.
I can imagine having some kind of a talk. If he had some girl he was preparing to marry, then maybe we could talk about marriage. Of course, I am not sure what new I could say to a man who observed 23 years of my marriage that he would not already know.
I can imagine having a son who is troubled by some temptation to sin imposed by his peers and who comes to me for help, but I find it hard to work out how that would happen. If it is sin, I would tell him not to do it. He knows I would tell him not to do it. So, that conversation is not very useful or very long.
He is not going into my profession (he is a soldier, I am a lawyer), so not a lot of professional advice is needed.
In short, I raised my son the way I wanted him raised. I made mistakes, I am sure, but how would I know? There are things I theoretically would "have done differently," but so what? He does not need to sit and listen to me whine about how I raised him. I do not live a life of regrets, after all. We are where we are.
In short, this is not a movie script. In scripts, they include these talks to create a sense of emotional closeness for the audience, but I cannot imagine sitting my son down and talking to him that way. I can imagine him coming to me with questions, but that is up to him.
So, we sit and have lunch and talk about all the little things people talk about when they like each other's company. In two days, he will be headed back to his duty station. He is a man, with a man's world to live in. I raised him and have faith in him.
In short, it was not television. It was not a movie. It was me and my son. It was perfect. It was just what it ought have been.
Apparently, the theory is that I (as the Father) have some great knowledge that he (as the Son) needs to hear and that, for whatever reason, I have never given it to him before. Now That He Is A Man (as they will say it), I am apparently supposed to impart this knowledge to him over lunch or dinner or something, in a very important Talk.
I think, maybe, it arises from television and movies, where we always see fathers and sons sitting down for a serious talk. It may just come from the increasing feminization of things, given how much women seem to like having such talks. I know that wives are frequently the ones who want their husbands to have such talks. Who knows where it comes from, but I wish it would go away. Seriously.
My son lived in my house for 23 years. Do you think there is something I wanted to tell him but just kept forgetting all those years? Is there some wisdom or understanding I just never got around to mentioning but which he needs now? I don't think so.
I can imagine having some kind of a talk. If he had some girl he was preparing to marry, then maybe we could talk about marriage. Of course, I am not sure what new I could say to a man who observed 23 years of my marriage that he would not already know.
I can imagine having a son who is troubled by some temptation to sin imposed by his peers and who comes to me for help, but I find it hard to work out how that would happen. If it is sin, I would tell him not to do it. He knows I would tell him not to do it. So, that conversation is not very useful or very long.
He is not going into my profession (he is a soldier, I am a lawyer), so not a lot of professional advice is needed.
In short, I raised my son the way I wanted him raised. I made mistakes, I am sure, but how would I know? There are things I theoretically would "have done differently," but so what? He does not need to sit and listen to me whine about how I raised him. I do not live a life of regrets, after all. We are where we are.
In short, this is not a movie script. In scripts, they include these talks to create a sense of emotional closeness for the audience, but I cannot imagine sitting my son down and talking to him that way. I can imagine him coming to me with questions, but that is up to him.
So, we sit and have lunch and talk about all the little things people talk about when they like each other's company. In two days, he will be headed back to his duty station. He is a man, with a man's world to live in. I raised him and have faith in him.
In short, it was not television. It was not a movie. It was me and my son. It was perfect. It was just what it ought have been.