As many of you know, I am in that age where my children are older. My youngest is 17. There is an interesting thing that happens at this time -- we (my wife and I) become boring to our children and their lives move on.
There is a stage of life where your children are always around and are highly dependent on you. You, in fact, spend a lot of time "entertaining" them. You read to them. You play games with them (oh, boy, it's time for Uncle Wiggly again!). You sit on the floor with a toy that consists of plastic rings to be stacked on a pole and you sit there for an hour with your child. It is kind of strange to look at from the outside, but it is part of parenting and, really, isn't that bad.
Then, they start having homework and soccer practices and such things, leaving you a little on the outside. You still have fun with them sometimes, but it is not always about you anymore. Put simply, there is an age where you are the one they play with, then there is an age where you watch them play. You don't go on the soccer field, you stand there and watch (or sit, if you are lucky). You watch them play baseball. You watch them in the band. You have become a source of transportation more than a person to play with.
Well, we are almost out of that world. The next age is where you become uninvolved in their fun at all. They go to things on their own. They have friends with whom you have no real relationship at all. They have jobs where they work. They no longer enjoy watching the shows you watch (or the DVDs you watch). We are now at the stage where only our youngest remains interested in what we are doing at all.
When they go to college, then it is all different, especially if they go away to college. They come home to visit (and get food and do laundry). They will join you for a movie, if it is a movie they want to see, but will not join you if they have not already decided to watch the movie you have picked. They spend hours "in their room" rather than with the family. Their life is moving away from you. Soon, the only time you have "fun" together is when it fits their schedule (children and all).
This is the way it is supposed to be. Our children grow up and make their own lives. We remain a part of their lives, of course, but their lives move on.
My point is two-fold. First, do not worry about this. Do not let this bother you. It is part of nature. They must have their own lives.
Second, do not cling to them, but live your own life. Children are not your life. People who make their children the center of their lives will one day be left without a center at all.
In the end, we find ourselves back with the person we loved at the first. Not a bad result, is it?
There is a stage of life where your children are always around and are highly dependent on you. You, in fact, spend a lot of time "entertaining" them. You read to them. You play games with them (oh, boy, it's time for Uncle Wiggly again!). You sit on the floor with a toy that consists of plastic rings to be stacked on a pole and you sit there for an hour with your child. It is kind of strange to look at from the outside, but it is part of parenting and, really, isn't that bad.
Then, they start having homework and soccer practices and such things, leaving you a little on the outside. You still have fun with them sometimes, but it is not always about you anymore. Put simply, there is an age where you are the one they play with, then there is an age where you watch them play. You don't go on the soccer field, you stand there and watch (or sit, if you are lucky). You watch them play baseball. You watch them in the band. You have become a source of transportation more than a person to play with.
Well, we are almost out of that world. The next age is where you become uninvolved in their fun at all. They go to things on their own. They have friends with whom you have no real relationship at all. They have jobs where they work. They no longer enjoy watching the shows you watch (or the DVDs you watch). We are now at the stage where only our youngest remains interested in what we are doing at all.
When they go to college, then it is all different, especially if they go away to college. They come home to visit (and get food and do laundry). They will join you for a movie, if it is a movie they want to see, but will not join you if they have not already decided to watch the movie you have picked. They spend hours "in their room" rather than with the family. Their life is moving away from you. Soon, the only time you have "fun" together is when it fits their schedule (children and all).
This is the way it is supposed to be. Our children grow up and make their own lives. We remain a part of their lives, of course, but their lives move on.
My point is two-fold. First, do not worry about this. Do not let this bother you. It is part of nature. They must have their own lives.
Second, do not cling to them, but live your own life. Children are not your life. People who make their children the center of their lives will one day be left without a center at all.
In the end, we find ourselves back with the person we loved at the first. Not a bad result, is it?