What does God say? He says "them." When? Always. No, seriously. Them. Always.
Love your neighbor, we are told. Lev. 19:18. Matt. 5:43-44, 19:19, 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Rom. 13:9; Gal. 5:14; James 2:8. That is nine times. How often are we told to worry about ourselves? Zero.
Paul could not be more clear. He says: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Rom. 12:15. It does not say "rejoice when you feel like rejoicing, weep when you feel like weeping." No, the tone is set by your neighbor, not by you.
If you feel like weeping, and your neighbor feels like rejoicing, then your duty is to rejoice. If you feel like rejoicing and your neighbor feels like weeping, then you weep with him. At no point is self-indulgence permitted in this view of the Christian life. And weeping when you want to before others is self-indulgence. Rejoicing before others when you want to is self-indulgence.
You see, if I love my neighbor, it means that everyday, in every conversation, in every interaction, my first thought must be for them, for their good, for their edification. I must not think of nor focus on (much less indulge) what I want.
You may say (you should say): but when do I weep? When do I let out all the suffering I go through? When is my moment to be comforted?
Paul tells us that as well. In 2 Corinthians 1, he reveals the source of his comfort: God. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
It is astonishing how quickly we turn to others rather than to the God of all comfort. How quickly we impose our misery on others, rather than turn to the One who will bear any burden and for whom our little problems are as no weight at all.
Paul's view of Christianity is quite different from our view. Paul sees the Christian as a minister in the world, ministering to others rather than seeking others to minister to him. Would that we could see as clearly as Paul saw.